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Michael Peck's avatar

Excellent! But also it seems alarmingly close to reality 🤔

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Simon Mansfield's avatar

Well done, took me a few paras.

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hk's avatar

It's an obvious typo, but the reference to "borders of 1891" made me chuckle. Make Warsaw, Helsinki, and Reval Russia again!

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Lao Gan Man's avatar

That’s the joke

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hk's avatar

I don't think that was the main joke--but the typo, assuming it was, enhanced the joke infinitely, although an additional reference to turning around 360 degrees would have added even more hilarity.

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Archie1954's avatar

Boy was I shocked! A great April Fool's "joke".

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DLehman's avatar

I started reading and believed it was from the mouth of Fond of Lyin’ and then realised it was a joke 😆Good one, Mr Proud!!

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Kieran O’Sullivan's avatar

The dogs of war are loose - well, a bulldog and poodle, at least. The first, a decrepit, toothless hound, the latter, a pampered mutt fresh from parisien salons.

The bear is baited but - this is the kicker - it is free from the stake and isn’t in a mood to negotiate.

Europe descends into debt and economic torpor, the US sets sail for manifest idiocy and we all get to huddle by our screens and watch the world go up in flames.

Feeling queasy? Got that churning vertigo called history in the breaking?

What to do? Where to go?

Maybe there is an isle out there we can all swim too. Sleepy palms and golden sands. Somewhere we can all start again?

Might be time to take up holy orders. Cancel the internet. Take up gardening and crochet. Anything but this.

What happens when you find yourself in this version of Europe or wake up stranded in Trump’s version of the new world?

What a shit show it is.

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Ian Proud's avatar

Let's hope the island isn't Pitcairn and the ship, The Bounty! This is mutiny, Mr Christian! (Watch out for the kids...)

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Kieran O’Sullivan's avatar

Recall that line by Christian to Captain Bligh: ‘You remarkable pig. You can thank whatever pig god you pray to…’

I always loved Brando in that role. Conflicted, impossibly handsome, at the height of his powers.

We need a mutiny. But are the crew mutinous enough?

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John Brophy's avatar

Every day is April fools now in Europe. Sad but true.

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Antony Wilder's avatar

You made me smile this morning. Who will save the spaghetti trees?

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Geoff's avatar

Hilarious! You forgot to mention the EU order for citizens to have on-hand an emergency bag of supplies to last 3 days, enough to see us through any nuclear catastrophe 😀

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KC Erasmus's avatar

Excellent Satire

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Timbo's avatar

Great article. Never a truer word said (written) in jest.

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Michael  Lynch's avatar

Epic Satire.

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Joseph's avatar

A+ 😁

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Nancy Pickle's avatar

Brilliant! Thanks for the chuckle.

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Abhcán's avatar

The warmongers are the Russians.

"Nuclear threats on Russian state TV"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKXxNN9VCpU&list=PLLWQyEN3YRo4-iEM1Ow5BnZsTUHa4AQxp

"Footage from the security cameras of the "Magellan" restaurant in Kryvyi Rih at the moment a Russian missile struck. No military personnel are present - no Ukrainian soldiers or military instructors. Only civilians."

https://bsky.app/profile/wartranslated.bsky.social/post/3lm7txncwks24

"The Rhyming of History & Russian aggression

Looking back to February 1947 as a lesson for February 2022"

https://mountainrunner.substack.com/p/the-rhyming-of-history-and-russian

"Putin Wages War Against the Democratic World

A reminder of past Russian aggression"

https://camarra.substack.com/p/putin-wages-war-against-the-democratic

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Nakayama's avatar

It took Germans six-seven years to rearm 1933-1939, but the German military had been carefully licking their wounds, thinking, planning, and designing new weapons since the end of WW1. Germany was still the top industrial nation in Europe. Germany still had lots of natural resources and a large number of men with military experience. Today's Europe or Germany does not have these kind of capacity.

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